Couples Counselling FAQ: What are some things I should know about couples counseling?

Couples Counseling

If you are considering couples counseling, you may have several questions about the sessions and wonder why they may be right for you and your spouse? The following are some of the most common questions we receive. If you have any further questions or concerns, please call a couples counselor.

How can someone who does not know us actually help our relationship?

This is a legitimate question and one of the most common ones couples counselors receive. What we would like to explain is that many couples, especially those that have been in a relationship for a long time, operate along certain patterns – often without realizing this. A neutral third party, such as a trained couples counselor, can identify these patterns and help you both to understand what may be going on in the relationship. 

For example, let us say that one of you feels as if your voice is not being heard, and the other partner is putting you down for this feeling. A couples counselor can observe the way communication is being made at a session and identify the patterns that may not be obvious to the couple. One such pattern might be that the partner who is not listening looks at the floor while the other partner is expressing their emotions. Another pattern might be when one partner does most of the talking and the other says very little. 

A couples counselor can help you both to realize these patterns and then learn how to break them. This can result in better communication and a healthier relationship.

We’re unable to resolve things on our own; maybe our relationship is not meant to be, right?

This is certainly not true. Relationships are wonderful, but also rich in emotions of all kinds. A lot of couples will trigger one another so that they react in some kind of emotional outburst. Logical and rational thoughts tend to be null in void; especially during a heated argument. A couples counselor will view your relationship differently, and will have no emotions attached. This can result in the ability to work on the real issues at hand. 

Can’t we just talk with our friends?

Even though you might feel like you can discuss your relationship with your friends, and find solutions to your problems, this is not always a good idea. Your friends may have their own bias which could impede on your decisions. A couples counselor does not have a bias; furthermore, can tell you things that your friends might not be able to.

Maybe we should just have a fresh start and things will be different in a new relationship?

As a couples counselor, we can say this very rarely happens. Often a person will bring their bad habits into a new relationship and the same or similar things will happen again. Couples counseling in Palatine, IL will help you to learn about yourself, the negative traits that may be affecting your behaviors, and your patterns. If you can break these, you may be able to save your current relationship for the better. 

Thanks to Lotus Wellness Center for their insight into couples counseling and things to know about counseling sessions.